Before I begin this post, I want to mention the difference between loneliness and being alone. Loneliness is a feeling of not fitting in or feeling secluded, while being alone is the physical act of being by yourself. Some people love to be alone, especially when they want to relax. I, for one, love being alone; it’s when I get my writing done. However, I’m not too fond of the feeling of loneliness as it brings negative thoughts into my head. So, how do we overcome loneliness?
I grew up with a small circle of friends. These were friends I had fun with, played games with, and hung out with, but for most of my life, I felt as if I was lonely. No one understood me and my personality. It was hard to indeed be myself in front of people as I thought they would judge me. Anytime I was home alone, I felt this wave of loneliness and depression; why didn’t anyone understand me? Whatever it was, I knew I didn’t want to feel like that anymore, so I did some experimenting. These tips and tricks are what helped me overcome loneliness.
Socialization Time
This might seem obvious, but socialize a bit if you’re feeling lonely. Reach out to friends and family and have a different conversation with them than you normally do. Instead of laughing with a friend or gossiping, ask them something serious to see how they respond.
Sometimes, we’re just too scared to talk about a specific topic because we think our friends and family will judge us. If you prefer hiding behind a mask, try opening up to people online. Although chatting and socializing online is easier, forming deeper and more meaningful connections may be harder. That doesn’t mean it won’t happen though. There are plenty of supportive groups online; you just have to find them and get out of your comfort zone.
Comfort Not Allowed
Speaking of stepping out of your comfort zone, DO IT. Take a leap of faith. We care way too much about what others think of us that we end up not living our best lives.
I was extremely shy and introverted and would never go up on a stage or do anything socially. Dancing was a hobby that I told myself I’d never do… dance in front of strangers? No thanks. Well, one day, after a traumatic experience with an ex (a story for another time), I decided to step way out of my comfort zone. I asked myself, “What’s the last thing I would ever do?” It was dancing. So, I signed up for my first dance class.
The dance class was on the same day that I booked it. I was nervous, didn’t know what I got myself into, and even thought of backing out. However, I pushed on. I attended this dance class, which happened to fall on a day they hosted a special holiday dance. Crap… is all I thought. I didn’t know this was happening until I arrived. There were people everywhere and I’m here just taking my first lesson in front of professional dancers.
Long story short, I had an amazing experience. The simple act of getting out of the house and meeting new people helped me socialize and learn something new. It was a great distraction from the negative thoughts.
Distract Yourself
Maybe you’re having difficulty socializing and don’t like trying things out of your comfort zone. Then, for you, I would say to distract yourself. Find a new hobby, play a game, read a book, do something productive, meditate, exercise, etc. Distract your mind from its lonely thoughts.
My distractions are meditating, exercising, writing, and playing video games. Any time I would enter one of these activities, my mind would escape into that world. It felt as if all my troubles were left behind.
To Conclude
While it can be difficult to overcome loneliness, it’s not impossible. Whenever possible, contact friends and family and talk out of the norm. Distract yourself from your thoughts by engaging in a hobby. And step out of your comfort zone and try something new and out of the ordinary. These are the steps I took to help me feel seen when I was in a dark secluded place after a breakup. I hope these steps help you overcome loneliness.
Comment below with new activities you tried that were out of your comfort zone. I enjoy seeing people take a bold leap of faith.
My leap of faith was starting this blog. I didn’t know what I wanted to write about, so I just sat down and wrote My First Blog Post. Let me know what you think.