The thought of starting a family can be stressful. Do you feel you’re ready to have kids? Are both partners in agreement over how to raise the child? Are you financially stable for the extra family member? There are lots of questions to ask, but do they really matter? Let’s dive a little deeper.
Which Road to Take – Biological vs Adoption
The first question you should probably ask yourselves is if you’re going to try to have your own biological children or if you’re going to adopt. They both have their pros and cons. However, this choice is up to everyone in their unique situation.
You should consider your own biological children if you’re in good health, want to experience the entire process, and want your child to share your DNA.
Adoption should be considered if you’re struggling to conceive, want to help out a child in need, want to help control overpopulation, or are in a same-sex/other type of relationship where you cannot create your own biological child.
Personally, I want to be able to experience both in my lifetime, and I hope I get that chance. After deciding which route to take, you should talk about parenting styles.
Parenting Styles
Making sure you’re on the same page before you have a child is vitally important. The last thing you want is to have a child and be on different parenting spectrums. This would create a lot of tension in the relationship and could end in a fight.
Talk about how you’ll discipline your child, how to reward them, and other parenting styles that come to your mind. If you’re split between something, come to a neutral agreement.
After you’ve come to terms with parenting styles, talk about your finances.
Family Finances
Have you looked at finances? A child is an expensive endeavor. Did you know the average cost of a newborn for the first year is $25k? That’s a lot of money. And with inflation, it’s only going to get worse.
To many people, that number is close to their annual earnings. Factor in rent, food, utilities, and other basic cost, and it can seem like it’s impossible to afford a child. But does any of this matter?
My Take – Am I Ready To Have Kids?
Everyone has a different mindset. My thoughts on being a parent have changed dramatically over the years. One year, I couldn’t have biological children; the next, I was with someone who had a child. Both gave me a negative view towards having children until I met the right person.
But even after meeting the right person, I asked myself the above questions. We agreed on parenting styles and having our first child be a biological child; however, finances always held me up.
I couldn’t see myself affording anything since I lived paycheck to paycheck. It wasn’t until a few conversations I had with friends and family that they told me that I’d never be ready. They told me I should take the plunge and figure it out along the way.
Take the Plunge
And that’s what I’m going to do. Alex and I are planning on conceiving next year for a baby to be born in 2025. It’s much sooner than I expected, but it brings excitement and nervousness.
What I found funny was that my family and friends were giving me my own advice. In my post about Why New Year Resolutions Suck, I mention that the reason I think New Year Resolutions suck is because it’s a list where you put off your future goals, and that’s exactly what I was doing. If you’re interested in reading that, check out the link above.
Conclusion
How do you know if you’re ready for kids? You don’t. I don’t think anyone will ever be truly ready. You can try all you want, but you’ll still run into snags that you didn’t account for. The best thing you can do is ensure you’re on the same page as your partner and live out the rollercoaster of having a child together. No matter what happens, it’ll be an experience you never forget.
I’m excited to begin my own story next year; sign up below to be updated on that journey. Do you agree with my views? Or do you have a checklist of your own to let you know if you’re ready? Let me know in the comments below.
Love this! Can’t wait to go on this amazing adventure with you. ❤️